Time Alone

Learn to spend time alone.

Truly.

Give yourself the gift of your own company.

Don’t rush to fill every quiet moment.

Don’t immediately grab your phone, start a chat, or look for someone who will tell you exactly what you want to hear.

Because sometimes, that’s just another form of self-medication.

Some people numb themselves with alcohol or food.

Some with constant noise.

Some with “talking to the right people.”

Different methods… same escape.

And let’s be honest:

Have you ever been in a crowd, laughing, smiling, socialising…

but somewhere deep inside you felt like a fraud?

Like your happy face was just a cover?

Or when you’re finally alone: no activity, no conversation: do you suddenly feel that wave of sadness or heaviness sitting right on your chest?

Do you feel an urge to distract, medicate, or escape it immediately?

My sister, that’s not because something is wrong with you.

It simply means there is inner work waiting for you.

Unprocessed pain.

Old trauma.

Buried shame.

Fear you refused to name.

Guilt you swallowed instead of healing.

Your inner self, your intuition, your spirit. your chi knows when something is off.

It will whisper… and if you ignore it long enough, it will start to shout.

So do the work.

Sit with yourself.

Feel what you’ve been trying to outrun.

Cry if you must.

Forgive yourself if you can.

Correct yourself where you need to.

Mourn what did or didn’t happen.

Then slowly, start imagining what is still possible.

Affirm it.

Say it daily. Hourly. Whenever your heart needs reminding.

Because avoiding this work is how people “for want of a nail”* their whole lives. A tiny problem ignored becomes a big crack in the foundation.

And escapism?

It doesn’t silence that inner voice.

It only delays the conversation.

But one day, whether gently or through a life crisis; you will be forced to sit with yourself.

So do it now.

On your own terms.

For your own healing.

For your own peace.

And here’s the beautiful part…

The day you can sit alone with your thoughts, no distraction, no panic and actually feel the present moment without judging yourself… that’s the day you’ll know you’ve stepped into a new level of peace.

A peace you built.

A peace you protected.

A peace you earned through honesty and courage.

----------------------

* FOR WANT OF A NAIL

  By: Author Unknown

  When: 14th - 15th Century

For want of a nail, the shoe was lost.

For want of a shoe, the horse was lost.

For want of a horse, the rider was lost.

For want of a rider, the message was lost.

For want of a message, the battle was lost.

For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

Mismanaging Grace: A Believer’s Self-Sabotage.

What you misunderstand about grace can undo what grace came to build

Believers talk about grace often, but few truly understand its weight. Grace is powerful, transformative, and costly. Yet many handle it casually, selectively, or emotionally. What we do not realise is that whenever grace is mismanaged, the result is often quiet, gradual, and devastating self-sabotage.

Grace was never meant to be an escape hatch from responsibility. It was meant to be divine empowerment for alignment, obedience, and spiritual maturity. When we ignore God’s channels of communication, whether through Scripture, prayer, sermons, or counsel, and when we reject instruction or treat God’s mercy as permission, we end up damaging the very destiny grace was designed to protect.

The grace of God often comes with instructions. He will use various means to get you to hear it. Many of us turn a deaf ear of course 

I have never understood people who claim to know God, believe He has a plan for their lives, and yet refuse to seek his instruction or what He says in Scripture. Or they embrace the comforting parts but avoid the verses that challenge their behaviour, provoke repentance, or demand transformation.

It is like being the child of a president, a child with rights, privileges, protection, and access, and yet refusing to learn the constitution, your responsibilities, your inheritance, or the instructions that govern your authority. You cannot walk in divine authority if you refuse to understand the laws that empower that authority.

Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

Not just hearing, knowing.

And you cannot know what you refuse to study.

Some believers treat God as though He is only a spiritual emergency exit. They call on Him the way one would use a presidential seal meant solely to bail them out of crisis. Acting like that is the sole purpose of grace.

That mindset could only work if the Father were corrupt.

Here is the forgotten truth.

God is not corrupt.

God is not manipulatable.

And God is not obligated to endorse a life that refuses to submit to His Word.

“God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5).

Grace is not a spiritual get-out-of-trouble-free card.

Grace is access.

Grace is advantage.

Grace opens the door with directions.

Directions that comes with instructions.

We love to say, “God is loving. God is gracious. God forgives.”

All true.

But grace is not the same as restoration.

Grace removes guilt.

Grace grants access again.

But the restoration or placement expected requires alignment.

Throughout Scripture, every expression of grace almost always came with instruction.

Let's see some of them.

1. God judged the earth, but His grace made a way for Noah, his family, and the animals. He said, “Build the ark” (Genesis 6:14). He added, “You shall enter the ark” (Genesis 6:18).

2. To Abraham, He said, “Leave your father’s house” (Genesis 12:1).

3. To Israel, He said, “Walk in My statutes” (Leviticus 18:4).

4. To the woman caught in adultery, Jesus said, “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11).

5. To the widow in debt. Grace told her to pour from her cruse of oil and that it will not run out. Instruction told her to borrow jars to store in and sell. (2 Kings 4)

 Grace is a doorway, not a blank cheque.

Grace is empowerment, not permission.

And often the expression of grace is seasonal. God does not run out of grace, but His assignments shift with seasons.

Ignore the instruction that comes with grace, and you may forfeit the placement or restoration that was meant to follow it.

My Experience

As a young working adult, I enjoyed unusual financial favour. I always had residual income outside my salary. My side gig flourished, and I knew it was God’s grace.

One particular year, around December into January, I asked God his word for the new year. I had done this for years, and the answers has often been affirmations or straight out blessing.

At that time, I knew I heard an instructuive phrase.

"This is your year of discipline"

After that day for weeks

I heard it in prayer.

I heard it in sermons.

I saw it in banners.

It even appeared in random Facebook posts.

That was grace speaking.

What did I do?

I prayed briefly and shrugged it off as a mistake. 

By the second quarter of that year, I fell into debt that took years to climb out of. My residual income dried up. I had been indiscplined about my spending so my saving was next to nothing. Suddenly, the little the righteous had was no longer enough.

I prayed, fasted, and cried until I felt empty.

Heaven stayed silent.

Until one day in church, the sermon highlighted the very instruction I had ignored for weeks. The realisation washed over me with deep regret. I cried uncontrollably in service.

I had grace in abundance, but my immaturity wasted that season.

Even Samson Shows That Mismanaged Grace Can Destroy You

Samson prayed for grace.

God granted it.

But his ignorance and misunderstanding of that grace led to his death, right in the destruction his disobedience created.

Yes, he defeated his enemies.

But he destroyed himself along with them.

Grace answered him.

Ignorance ended him.

---

Final Thoughts

If God has given us His Word, His Spirit, and His Son, then ignorance is a self-inflicted wound.

Study the Word.

Know God’s mind.

Respect His instructions.

Walk by the Spirit.

Respond to grace properly.

Because grace is powerful; but grace mishandled can become a tragedy.

Prayer 

Father, thank You for the gift of grace; pure, undeserved, and transformative.

Open my eyes to understand it deeply and handle it wisely.

Deliver me from spiritual ignorance and from every pattern of self-sabotage.

Teach me to obey Your Word, follow Your Spirit, and honour Your instructions.

Strengthen my discernment, sharpen my understanding, and align my heart with Your truth.

Let Your grace empower me, not excuse me; restore me, not expose me; build me, not break me.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

This Little Light. Episode 2- The Path

The first time Young-lad touched her, she flickered...a heartbeat of fire.

He pulled his hand back in wonder. He thought it a trick of light, or a fleeting ailment of his eyes.

But far away, beyond his knowing, a story much older than him stirred awake.

-------------

A millennium ago, while interceding in a family feud, The-King-of-All heard of a narrow path deep within His kingdom.

It was said that whoever strayed upon it came out infected by strange leechlike bugs: tiny, unseen things that clung like secrets and fed like shame.

They were master mimics, changing color with their host, breeding quietly until generations forgot where the first bite began.

And the cure?

Please, Insert a mirthless 'hahaha.'

To be healed, one had to walk that same path again, this time with light in hand, returning the parasites to their root.

But there was a catch.

At the first shimmer of light, guards of that cursed land appear to drag trespassers away for agonizing punishment.

Now, The-King-of-All could have burned the path, erased it from the maps of men.

But He had made a pact with the lord of that region, and His word could not be broken.

So He thought long and deep. Then He began to build.

From His vault He drew rare things — a sliver of silver from a star, a thread of dawn-gold, a spark of truth from His own breath.

A little from here. A little from there.

By nightfall, Little Light was born.

She was His quiet plan — His gentle answer to the plague.

A helper to guide the diseased through the dark, back to where the leeches first took hold.

This destiny Little Light had always known.

Sometimes she would dream of it or of the hand strong enough, pure enough, not just to weild her but to turn that mighty beam on .

For not every hand could bear her brightness.

And that day, at that very moment, just as that thought flickered across her mind again…

She felt it.

That same hand from the hall.

Young-lad had come again.

This time, she did not wait for his touch.

Her light leapt first..

and the room blazed white!

(To be continued next week)

This Little Light.

Prologue:

Light [lahyt], noun.

---

Episode I: The Flicker.

Once upon a time, there was a King called The-King-of-All, maker of every kind of light.

Some He formed mighty, to shine as floodlights, flashlights, candlelights, lamps, even matchsticks. All were His creation, and He loved them dearly.

Oh, there were far more types of light than one could ever number. To count them would cost me weeks, and still I would miss millions. Such were the works of The-King-of-All; mysterious, unfathomable.

Yet this tale is not about all the lights. It is about one.

A small handheld light. Portable. Simple to the eye. But within it, The-King-of-All had placed a brilliance of over 3,500 lumens, or so the elders whispered. It had been built for a purpose greater than itself: to be wielded by a mighty hand or installed in a lighthouse. The little light grew up knowing this destiny.

One day, a young man: let us call him Young-lad, came to the palace of The-King-of-All. He had fled from an uprising in his town, only to have his ship capsized in a storm. Alone, cold, hungry, and directionless, he stumbled into the King’s mercy. And the King, in His kindness, welcomed him to stay until his affairs were restored.

To repay such generosity, Young-lad took up the duty of Light Cleaner. And to this he gave himself with eagerness, like a fish to water. He polished lanterns, trimmed candle wicks, dusted lamps, and restored broken bulbs. Every day he walked among wonders of light.

Then one morning, as the sun rose over the palace windows, Young-lad noticed a faint glow from the corner of the King’s great hall. There, half-hidden beneath a linen cloth, sat the little handheld light.

It looked so plain compared to the grand chandeliers and blazing torches. But something about it seemed… alive. As if it were waiting. Watching. Hoping.

Young-lad reached for it with curious hands.

And in that moment...

…the light flickered.

Not like any ordinary flicker. This was a pulse. A heartbeat of fire. A whisper of destiny.

Young-lad froze, the light warming his palm as though it knew him. He leaned closer, eyes wide.

And then...

(To be continued…😁)

Thank you for reading

Beware the Laban in others and the Laban in yourself.

A few days ago, I sought God's face concerning a repeated challenge a friend and I were facing. This challenge had been a pattern for over 8 years, as far as I know and it bothered me. Towards the end of the prayer (amongst other baby Christian moves I made), i felt or heard in my spirit what the root of the pattern was. Oh, my baby Christian moves included trying to guilt God, some crying, loads of worship, reminding him of His words as well as His promises. Ko werk.

God remained merciful and firm in His voice and I heard everything I needed. Not what I wanted to hear but what I needed to know. The article below is borne from that message: How as Christians, we need to be careful and introspect all the time. 

        "Examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith..." (2 Corinthians 13v5)

I hope this edifies you as it did me.

------

Life often places us in situations where people take advantage of us, deceive us, or repay our kindness with evil. The Bible records two powerful stories that show how God responds when His children are wronged: the story of Jacob and Laban, and that of David and Nabal.

Jacob & Laban (Genesis 29–31):

Jacob arrived in Haran with nothing but hope and faith. He served diligently for seven years to marry Rachel, only to wake up on his wedding morning beside Leah 

        “And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah.” (Genesis 29:25). 

Deception became the mark of Laban’s dealings with him. Even afterward, when Jacob labored as a shepherd, Laban repeatedly altered his wages: 

        “Your father has deceived me and changed my wages ten times,” (Genesis 31:7).

Yet, in the face of injustice, Jacob remained diligent in his work and to God. And God, in His justice, turned the tables. The flocks multiplied in Jacob’s favor, wealth shifted into his hands, and the very one who was cheated became the one blessed beyond measure: 

        “Thus God has taken away the livestock of your father and given them to me.” (Genesis 31:9).

What Laban denied, God restored with abundance. Jacob did not leave empty, but overflowing, while Laban’s household lost favour because of his dishonesty.

David & Nabal (1 Samuel 25)

Centuries later, David faced a similar test. While protecting Nabal’s shepherds, David showed kindness. Yet when he requested food for his men, Nabal responded with arrogance:

“Who is David? … Shall I then take my bread and my water… and give it to men whom I do not know?” (1 Samuel 25:10–11)

David’s anger flared, but God stepped in through Abigail, Nabal’s wise wife, who pleaded for mercy. Shortly after, Nabal’s heart failed him, and the Lord struck him down (1 Samuel 25:37–38). David testified:

“Blessed be the Lord, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach… and has kept His servant from evil.” (1 Samuel 25:39)

Again, we see the pattern: deception and dishonor meet God’s judgment, while the faithful receive His favour.

The lesson here

Whether in Jacob’s patient endurance or David’s near retaliation, the truth stands; no injustice escapes God’s eyes. 

       "The Lord detests differing weights and dishonest scales do not please Him." (Proverbs 20 v 23)

Those who deceive, deny, or repay good with evil will eventually face His judgment, while those who trust Him will be restored and repaid. 

We need to know the Labans in different areas of our lives. However, we also must examine ourselves to ensure we are not the toxic Laban or Nabal.

Some of the struggles we are facing may be the result of our unjust behaviour towards others.

Prayer Points

1. Lord, protect me from those who would deceive or dishonor me in Jesus' name. (Genesis 31:7)

2. Father, turn every injustice in my life into an avenue of blessing in Jesus' name. (Genesis 31:9)

3. Keep me from reacting in anger like David, but teach me to trust Your judgment in the name of Jesus. (1 Samuel 25:33)

4. O Lord, let every “Nabal” in my life lose their power to frustrate me inthenameofJesus.  (1 Samuel 25:37–38)

5. God, deal with every “Laban” in my life : those who seek to take advantage of me or cheat me and bring their schemes to nothing in the of Jesus.  (Genesis 31:7–9)

6. Lord, reveal to me if there is an area in my life where I have been, or am being, a “Laban.” Purge me of deceit, selfishness, or dishonesty, and have mercy on me. Help me to walk in truth in the name ofJesus (Proverbs 11:1)

7. God of mercy, repay me abundantly for everything I have been unjustly denied in the name of Jesus. (Joel 2:25)

Is God seeking children or lovers?

 

We often speak of God as Father; loving, patient, generous. And rightly so. Scripture repeatedly calls us children of God and invites us into a family where we are known, nurtured, and never abandoned.

But there's another side to this divine relationship that we often overlook.

God is not just seeking children. He’s seeking lovers; people who choose Him freely, passionately, and intimately. Not just those who bear His name, but those who burn for His presence. It is what enriches our experience when we worship. The heart of a lover.

This matters.

Because many today claim to “love God” yet rarely speak to Him in prayer or open His word to hear Him speak back. Can we really call it love if there’s no conversation? No pursuit? No desire to know His heart?

Love without communion is just sentiment.

I’m not writing this to judge. In fact, I write it from my own tension. I still struggle with consistent Bible study. And whenever I miss my prayer time, I genuinely miss God. I feel the ache of distance. That longing? That’s love.

And I’m learning that God wants more than religious obedience or distant admiration. He wants relationship; children who mature into lovers.

 

 

So maybe the question isn’t just, “Do I love God?”

Maybe the better question is: "How am I showing I love him and miss him?"

Because lovers don’t just believe. They pursue.

----------

Written with love. Shared with those still seeking.

 

Who is a prodigal son?

                Prodigality noun  [U]  formal

        Meaning: the quality of spending or using large amounts of time, money, energy or other         resources, in an unwise manner. Wasteful squandering of time, money, energy etc.

Recently, during a post-prayer quiet time, I had that word 'prodigality' drop in my mind. Oh, at the time I didn't know God was trying to use it to both teach and correct me. I thought it was content for my general study. In a bit, we'll circle back to how this was meant to change me, this season. 

My spirit fingers are crossed hoping this helps someone to. So let's unpack what I learned. 

...That the prodigality of the Prodigal son did not start on the day he left with and squandered his inheritance. It probably started with a thought, or an admiration of similar behaviour in others or being influenced to want to live a similar life of debauchery. Whatever the catalyst, it made its way into his thoughts, crystallised in his mind, probably exhibited in minor bad behaviour, long before he asked for his inheritance...prehumous too. "And he said, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness" Mark 7v21

So it's simplistic and pernicious to think the Prodigal Son was a sincere good boy who and one day, out of the blues, got off the bed to rudely demand for his inheritance. Seems unlikely. Not often do humans act involuntarily like we have with sleepwalking or sneezing or effects of spiritual possession. Human actions are inspired/motivated/triggered either by Internal factors (person's thoughts/will), External (duress, peer pressure, other influences) and Synthetic factors.  Any of these factors could have been responsible for the Prodigal Son's action but the bible doesn't share which. What the bible did share is, after he demanded his share of the inheritance, nobody challenged him or tried to stop him.  Mr P.S. had probably shown all signs of delinquency long before then.

The Loopy Thinking.                                                                                                                               So I asked how this applied to us as Christians who know this parable well thanks to Sunday school sermons, upbringing and our environment. We know not to squander anything... publicly at least. While the bible doesn't say to live an austere life, it does draw from us the need to live in moderation, especially as the less privilege need the excesses we may want to squander. So we know better. So how could we become like him, one would think. Well, we need to change our thinking of prodigality only as a noticeable, therefore avoidable event on a linear path. The path to prodigality can sometimes be a non-linear one of causality. Even tiny bad thought if not held captive have consequences. It's like intentionally tossing a tiny pebble into a crocodile infested water; walking into it because you do not see the crocodiles. Just because the crocodiles aren't on the surface doesn't mean they're not alert and waiting under the water. The pebble created an action that is still rippling even if you cannot see the effect. "To every action, there is equal and opposite reaction. Newton's 3rd Law of Motion.

So prodigality is a non-linear path of causality with outcome(s). some of which echo on (even after we repent) because of variables like time, other people and irreversible consequences like an illegitimate child, STDs, death, Mental illnesses, Wasted irrecoverable resources, lost opportunities etc.

 

What to do?                                                                                                                        Avoiding prodigality means looking at ourselves in the mirror of God's word daily and truthfully identifying areas of waste. Is it time? Procrastination is the waste of time. And that applied to me. I felt so convicted about how much time I had wasted pushing tasks to a later date for no good reason but laziness. Exchanging those moments for rewardless activities. Laziness is also another example of a waste of time. Abuse (physical, verbal or physiological) is waste of human resources and sometimes potential. Are you squandering God's grace over your life? Or are you wasting opportunities at work, home or in other areas of life? Perhaps it's  wasting your own talent? Not monetizing it doesn't mean you can't use it especially if you have the time. Coach someone (even a little kid), use it in church. Go online and create content. Just don't waste it. 

The bible shares God's distaste for waste: food, talent, resources and so on,